I want to write briefly about passion, the dreams of youth. I have a little secret to tell everyone: Life is actually pretty boring. [I don’t drink or do drugs]
But read “pretty” as “very” or “mind-numbingly”. Maybe I’m different from most people, maybe I require more stimulation than most. Maybe not! Although maybe most people don’t realize how lame their lives have become - it takes so long to creep up on them that they can’t quite internalize how little there is for them to actually do in the long stretch of years. Which is why, I suppose, so many people end up in front of the TV for four hours a day, or blankly surfing the internet (almost as bad).
Yeah, sure; have kids! Go for dreams of success or avarice! But can you summon the same enthusiasm that you could when you were, say, 15, 16, when you were seized with a sense of the endless possibilities ahead of you? Passion! Reward! Something that gets you up out of bed in the morning with a will! We gradually let those dreams go, but we don’t have to.
I’m writing this entry because I just watched the last episode of an anime series called Comic Party which is about a student’s path towards becoming a dojinshi artist. The theme of the anime is subtle but telling: There are joys aplenty in life, for sure, but one consistent reward is to be a part of something you love, to have a passion that opens your eyes and brings a smile to your face. It’s like retaining your youth, you bear the burdens of time easier when you know that you are doing what you love. It is a sublime reward to be fired with enthusiasm, when you can feel the force moving through you, when you’ve got your mojo on. It’s a religious experience without the dogma - you become one with your personal holy spirit.
(Maybe that’s what Bruce Sterling was getting at in Holy Fire, hmmm!)
In Comic Party, the character tries to become a dojinshi artist for a variety of reasons, and fails several times because he becomes demotivated in one way or another. At the end, he realizes that as long as even one person loves his drawing, as long as he even has one fan, it is worth continuing because he knows then that at least one person will enjoy his work. He will reach at least one person, and as long as he does, it will make him happy; let him feel that effervescent joy of creation inside of himself.
You know the joy I’m talking about, you must have felt it at some point in your life. Well, some people never let go of that, and you know, they have pretty good lives. Passionate lives, filled with fun and friends and inner glory.